You are not your problems - You are You
Kevin A. Tate, PhD, LMHC | July 16th, 2024
In my work as a mental health counselor over the past 15 years, it has been striking to see the increase in and ease with which my clients speak about problems such as depression, anxiety, unhealthy attachments, addiction, and other challenges that were once quite taboo to discuss. You can also see this across social media and popular culture where people are talking openly about such mental health problems and challenges. Along with this movement has come a tidal wave of books, workshops, experts, websites, and other sources offering solutions to these problems. As with any information claiming to have the answer to your problems, there will be scams and harmful attempts to fool the public. Those sketchy sources aside, there is also a huge amount of information generated by genuine professionals and experts that have changed the lives of people facing mental health challenges.
At the same time, I have noticed a growing trend in my clients and in our culture to incorporate these mental health labels into their identities. I also see this in my work as a counselor educator where I hear from some students that their early diagnosis of mental health issues was central to how they now identify personally and professionally. Being a “professional nerd”, I looked into what researchers have found about the impact of receiving a diagnostic label for a mental health issue. After reviewing 38 studies, Cliodhna O'Connor and colleagues reported that receiving a psychiatric diagnosis as a young person can lead to a more positive view of self, based on the new self-awareness, as well as more acceptance and connections to those with similar diagnoses. The positive impact of receiving diagnoses such as autism in adulthood has also been documented. These examples and many others show the positive impact made possible by receiving a label for mental health problems.
Receiving a diagnosis can also create problems. O'Connor also found that diagnosis at a young age can lead to constructing a new identity that includes lowered self-esteem and more negative beliefs about what they can achieve in the future. Other researchers have also suggested that overly identifying with mental diagnoses can lead to a higher likelihood of hopelessness and suicidal thoughts, and that those who have received a mental health diagnosis can even be perceived as more likely to commit crimes. Looking across these studies, it seems clear that one of the most difficult parts of adapting to the diagnosis is constructing a new identity that embraces both positive and negative aspects of their new view of self.
So, how do we strike a balance when labeling the mental health problems we and those we love face? In my work, I have found a few principles helpful in creating this balance…
We are not our problems, we are people facing problems
Problems, especially experiences of mental stress and pain, can loom large in our daily lives. Even so, it is crucial to remember that we are not our problems. If you are reading this, it is certain that you have built skills, gained knowledge, and possess personal strengths that have brought you to this point in time, reading an article about being your best self. In short, we have to see our problems as only a part of our experiences, even if they pervade our lives at times. The same is true for mental health diagnoses. These are labels that create a deeper understanding of the “why” of the problems we face, but they are not full descriptions of us as humans.
We already have the foundation needed to create solutions
Whether the label is depression, anxiety, autism, ADHD, or others, it's important to embrace our strengths and resources in order to solve the problems we face. For example, anxiety that invades our perceptions in all areas of life can also be functional when focused on specific issues that we can control and have the opportunity to address. When ADHD is the label that best describes your experiences of struggling to focus on tasks and ideas that are “mundane”, research has begun to show that ADHD as a label points to strengths such as cognitive flexibility and the capacity to have a “hyperfocus” on topics of interest. Even within the diagnostic labels we are given, there are sometimes ways to find sources of strength to create solutions to the problems that flow from those same labels.
When problems cannot be completely solved, we can find meaning in facing them
Finally, you may be reading this and thinking - “what if the problems are so immense that I do not have the strengths, skills, or even insights needed to solve them?” Experiencing things such as severe, persistent depression or debilitating anxiety can short-circuit our capacity to problem-solve. In addition to evidence-based treatments such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, I have found it is important to also seek meaning and purpose for facing these problems. Victor Frankl, a psychiatrist who survived the Holocaust concentration camps, observed and later wrote about the human need to seek meaning and purpose in life, and the way in which finding this purpose gives individuals the strength and vision needed to have hope for life during and beyond such horrific experiences. This purpose can take the form of commitment to loved ones, career dreams, spiritual beliefs about the meaning of suffering, or other anchors that create a sense of concrete purpose for getting through unavoidable problems and suffering.
We cannot always solve our problems on our own
If you are reading this you have faced your own problems, some of which may involve a mental health diagnosis. You also have skills, strengths, and attributes that are wonderful and are just as important in understanding yourself as a whole person. Even in those extreme moments when problems overwhelm your present-day lives, you have the freedom and ability to seek and name a purpose that will give you the hope needed to move beyond those problems. If you are in any of these situations, you may need to seek the support of family, friends, counselors, or others because, at a basic level, humans need supportive relationships to be healthy as individuals. Asking for help is not admitting you are weak - it is a show of strength and determination to solve and get through your problems using the strengths and capacity to create meaning that also makes us full humans.